Before

My Weight loss Story

Many people start their stories saying they were overweight their whole lives. I must admit that I lived through a period in my youth where I was truly "skinny" thanks to an amazing metabolism that lasted till my early twenties. So I learned terrible eating habits that began to haunt me as soon as I reached college. I have suffered from bingeing for as long as I remember, and have always used food to medicate problems and anxieties. As a result, I’ve spent most of my adult life being anywhere from twenty to fifty pounds over my ideal weight. Like so many people out there, I tried almost everything at one time or another. I even briefly went on Phen-Fen and got down to my idea weight, but of course, eventually the medication stopped working as my body adjusted, and I stopped when it came out that the medication could be harmful. I risked my health only to gain it all back and then some more.

Finally I reached my breaking point. I recall in particular a point where, after gaining even more weight during 2002, I was at my all time high of 60 pounds overweight. I never thought I would be that heavy. At 5'11" I can carry a lot of weight, but I couldn't ignore how bad I felt at 229Lbs. For the 1st time, I started to realize that 80 or 100 pounds over could be in my future. The big “ah-hah” was one day when I was at a grocery store. I was in grubby clothes, hair a mess, standing in line with a box of Little Debbie’s, which I planned to sit in my car and eat till I was stuffed. While there, a good friend's handsome young husband showed up. I held a brief conversation while trying to hide the snack cakes behind my back. I was utterly ashamed and embarrassed after he said his goodbyes and left. I commented on my embarrasment to the checkout woman, who looked at his (very cute) retreating rear and said, "That's better than Little Debbie's". It was funny, but I was feeling sick with myself. That was my turning point.

From there I made an appointment with my Dr. and I joined Weight Watchers. I had done Weight Watchers in the past. At one point I lost 25 Lbs. but never went past that. But this time I not only followed the WW plan, but I got treatment from my Dr. for my anxieties, I started exercising regularly and began looking for forms of inspiration and support. I wrote in my journal and really tried to work on the reasons WHY I was over-eating. Weight Watchers was great for me, I love cooking and became a fanatic about finding ways to eat well while eating healthier. I think the 3 biggest things that made it different this time was:

#1 - I realized that this was something I had to LIVE with. I couldn't make changes that I wouldn't maintain for the rest of my life. This was a way of life, not a temporary diet.

#2 - I learned to forgive myself when I wasn't perfect. I dropped the "All or nothing" attitude that had derailed my plans so many times in the past. I stopped trying to be perfect and just let me be myself.

#3 Support. From my great WW leader and group, family and friends, to my fantastically supportive husband. Also, I owe more than I can say to Getting2Goal, the most AMAZING site created by an inspiring woman and where I found a wonderful community who shares my struggles (and a special shout out to my girl Valerie and the ED gang!).

I started WW on September 2002 at 229 and by June of 2003 I had lost 53 of my 60 Lbs. After being within a couple pounds for ages, I reached my WW goal of 175 in March of this year. My sweet husband showed up at my Weight Watchers meeting with a dozen roses. I haven't made lifetime yet though. I sometimes gain a few pounds, and sometimes I lose a few… this is a life-long journey and I’m just slowly working on improving my health and making this truly the way I live my life. But I feel very proud of what I've accomplished so far. I'd like to someday make my personal goal of 170 someday, but I'm in no rush. Of course, when I make lifetime, I wont have to pay anymore, so I do want to get there eventually! Still, even if it goes up and down, I'll enjoy my 45-55 loss in the meantime.

Respectfully submitted,
Kerstin Upmeyer
9/20/04

After